Anti Social

I’m obsessed. This business has taken me over. I don’t blame it though, it is my own doing. I chose to be this way. But now I can’t change the way I am, because I’m addicted. What the hell do I do?

I am losing my life. My friends my social life. I want to attend social events but I get so tired easily and when I talk, all I think about is sleep and how I miss my bed so much, and how I just want to hug my baby brother.

I want it. I want it too believe me. I’m not all anti social. It’s just that I don’t know how to deal with it. How I can sart a conversation and worse, keep it alive. I’m just not me anymore. I’m not thr happy talkative girl that just hates awkward silence. I live awkward silence. I’m the awkward silence.

And I hate it. But I just can’t do anything to fix it.
It’s done.

I’m so confused.

Favorites

Parents,
Please don’t ever make one of your children feel less wanted than her siblings. Because you know what? It kills. Learn to love them all equally. If you can’t divide your heart, well then, bear only one child. Simple. It’d save you cash. And would stop the growing number of heartbreaks of children.

It’s so hard doing everything you could. Even having to stop chasing your dreams, and choose what your parents would be proud of. Just to make them proud even for once. Wishing they’d appreciate your sacrifice and finally love you or at the very least give you even a little bit of attention. But no. Once they’ve chosen their favorite, it’s impossible to get some attention. You may as well be wind.

There was once this book I’ve read. Two boys wrestling. For the first time ever, the little boy defeated his bigger brother in their game, with their father watching. When the boy smiled and looked at his father for praise, the father was frowning at the bigger brother and said, you should have had moved a little faster! And even for a second, never congratulated the little boy. Pathetic. I would never ever have a favorite child among my kids. No nah-uh.

So yeah you figured. It’s my dad. I just really wished he’d be the dad to me as he is to his fave kid among us sibs.
I’m not even hoping anymore. I just wished itd improve, even a little, our connection. Id be so happy.

Off now,
Nerr D

Forbidden L- can’t even say it

Hi. If you ever read this.. Wait actually no I’m hoping you won’t ever read this.

I just want to tell you you bring me no… harm? Yes. But you are killing me. I don’t know why. But you’re driving me crazy. Like emotionally. You have made me break compromises I had made to myself. You are an exception to everything I don’t do. I’d gladly do it for you. Nooo. I dont want to be inlove with you. I must not. First of all, I must not. Second, I shouldn’t. Third, its just not allowed okay. And oh ugh. You don’t feel the same.

I feel so…. weird. Like half hype and half sleepy. And half numb. I am cut in three yes. I feel weird as f. And no I am not on drugs. Just reaaaally numb. Don’t know if I feel happy or sad? What should I be happy about? What more should I be sad about?

Conclusion: Life is cool but it’s fckn hard. Hang loose. Have faith. Trust me on this. And trust Him. He’s got your back, bro. Am I really convincing you? Or convincing myself? ….I don’t know.

Blogging off, Nerr D.
I love God. <;3

Btw, it's 2 am in the morning. What the hell am I doing? I have shchool.

Nerdy Shopping

Duh?

Ofcourse I shop! To be honest, I love shopping! I just can’t take it!! Seeing too pretty clothes. Oh jeez. Irresistible. I think it’s part of every girls dreams to have unlimited cash to shop till they drop. Duh!! Even nerds! I love clothes so much guys.

But you know even if I have loads of clothes in my closet that cost me just much of my allowance. Somehow there are days where I just can’t find anything to wear. Crappiest feeling.

Anyway, we went to the mall yesterday. I was pretty happy cause we finally went. You see, our plans are always cancelled or delayed whatsoever. Mom’s fault. 😐 We were with our aunt yesterday. To be honest, I didn’t want her there. I’m not being mean or anything but it’s just that, she’s not trendy. She prefers to shop in Surplus; clothing shop with out of season clothes but with great deals. So we spent most of our time trying to go with her in surplus. Though, I did see a dress from MANGO. You heard that right! From mango!! It was pretty, it was sheer and had this zebra prints on it and it was only for $9 It was a great deal but I’m not sure I’ll be able to wear it. Did you forget? I’m Nerr D!

Anyway, after we went to surplus, we didn’t have much time for ourselves to shop. But I SOO want to buy something new!! We’re going to my province and new clothes feels just right. We were pressured into finding something for about 15 minutes maximum. Crap.

So we rushed to Forever 21 (nerdys fave) Here’s what I got:

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It’s size small but still pretty big. It’s comfortable. Believe me!! It’s pretty when you wear it. Though you should tuck it in…. I got it for $13

I also got this:

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For $1.95 !! So cute. I always wante o buy one of this! But I really wanted it in yellow!! I love yellow! But I guess gold would do.

I also bought a blue striped tank top semi crop. But me and my sister put our money together for it. Right now its in her closet. So i cant get it. Its pretty.

That’s all, I’ll take you with me when I go shopping!
This is a rushed entry, sorry for that.
Do you ever get the feeling that you don’t know what the f you’re typing?
My dilemma right now. Ahaha

Signing off, Nerr D

Geek Alert: Fashionerd

What?

Not all nerds wear jumpers, crocs, high socks etc. Some dreams to wear those trendy kinds too. Like the nerdy me, Nerr D. No but really, seriously speaking, I am pretty sure that some nerds would love to be “in” on what’s in. You know what I’m saying? It’s just that they can’t because they feel they’ll be laugh at. They’ll be a play toy to those bullies. That their extra effort would just bam go straight to the trash. I hate bullies. That’s why my last outfist post is pink. Anti-bullies -nism thingo.

Take a look at these hot outfits to beat the scorching hot sun.

Corsets!! They look so pretty. Prettier if paired with this pink boyfriend jeans. Prettier-er with these orange wedges. Duh. Ofcourse. Who would forget my signature look? Nerdy glasses! To not be extra glam, I decided to pair these with nerdy glasses instead of sunnies. Weh? Feeling fashionista foreva. Polyvore lang naman ang peg. Lol. Haha.

 

these screams OH MY GHAD I GOTTA HAVE THOSE on it. Well for me. The high wasted look itself is just sooo unnerdy! Made better by those tie-dye effects. Super nice! Summer na summer! The studs made it look chic! I suddenly had the urge to make some of these. You guys want? I’d share to you all soon!

 

Last but not the least, ANTI BULLYING -NISM

Perfect for the beach! Maxi skirts are “in” too plus these Neon green high heels. My signature nerdy glasses in Neon! So chic. Black top to make you look more fit and to balance the too colorful theme. I guess this isn’t really pink PINK. But still, YES TO ANTI BULLYING!! NO TO BULLIES/BULLYS!! (nerdy don’t know how to spell)

 

this post is so not Nerr D. Hmm. Maybe Tren D. hacked my blog. Like if you get the not-so-funny joke of mine! Hahaha!

signing off, Tren D. & Nerr D.