Zero Hero

I have a dozen options on which one I’d choose to love back. The only problem? Neither one of my options have me as their option. Yup I pretty much have zero waiting on my stairwell. I don’t blame them. I was never the swan. And it’s my fault too. There was once a time where in I was overwhelmed with a lot of attention. Peer pressure was knocking on my door and I let it in before peeping on the peep hole. The huge-est mistake I’ve ever done. Now I’m left here, alone and friendless. Deliberately trying to fake it. Why am I wasting my life? And yet even when I’m awaken, I still do nothing. Please send me a saviour, Almighty, let someone help me overcome these struggles. I can watch, eat and shop alone but never face a slapping dead end problemo alone.

Teary eyed,
Nerr D

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Second Damn Day

Today is the second day for my diet. My dad brought home fast food. I think he is purposely tempting me to drool for yummy yet unhealthy foods. Yesterday he brought home roast chicken from a restaurant. Damn.

Anyway. So there went my diet. Although I punished myself with extra workout which still made me feel like it wasn’t enough. But it got me tiiireeed. Dead on the coach. I am sitting wait no, I am currently lying on our comfortable home-y couch which is super soft and comfortable when you’re this tired. I am glued. But I am forced to stand because my baby brother is yelling for me to carry him down. Outrageous .

And so I’m back. I know it will tire you to find my part two blog post.
Anyway where was I? Oh yes the couch. I will marry this couch. Oh Have I mentioned? My mom told me I’ll grow old staying single. Ouch. Possible.
If I don’t lose this flabs. Work out!!! See ya

PS: My instax came and I love it!! But the package was incomplete. Consumer right to redress!

See ya,
Nerr D

Inspired

I was watching MTV hit series Awkward last night. The reason I slept at 2 AM and woke up at 11 am. First time. Anyway, I am inspired to follow main character, Jenna’s doings. Obviously not the heart-rob part since I am not as pretty. But the online journal part. I want to be totally honest here and just let out real emotions. Maybe this is the way for me to develop writing and also to start knowing what to say. I am usually speechless nowadays. I couldn’t express myself all naturally.

Also, I am inspired to stop being such a lazy fat ass. But to start a diet and lose weight. Seriously, why am I thinking its never gonna happen? I have to atleast try. I am a 65 kilo, 142 pound girl. I have to do something about this. Any advice?

-nerd dy

Instax

I see all I’ve posted are rants.
Well here’s some good news.
I desperately wanted to buy an instax! And so I was planning and inquiring and all, when I saw an ad that was way cheaper! I’m so happy! Great deals!’

Oh god I told you I was obsessed

Anyway so I guess I’ll be posting pictures now

Anti Social

I’m obsessed. This business has taken me over. I don’t blame it though, it is my own doing. I chose to be this way. But now I can’t change the way I am, because I’m addicted. What the hell do I do?

I am losing my life. My friends my social life. I want to attend social events but I get so tired easily and when I talk, all I think about is sleep and how I miss my bed so much, and how I just want to hug my baby brother.

I want it. I want it too believe me. I’m not all anti social. It’s just that I don’t know how to deal with it. How I can sart a conversation and worse, keep it alive. I’m just not me anymore. I’m not thr happy talkative girl that just hates awkward silence. I live awkward silence. I’m the awkward silence.

And I hate it. But I just can’t do anything to fix it.
It’s done.

I’m so confused.

Pretty different or pretty boring

Okay so my life’s pretty different now. At a young age, I’ve started a shop. And have pushed my way up successfully. And I’m really proud of this achievement. I am really inspired by it.
But it stops me from socializing. I’m losing friends. I wonder sometimes if it is my fault. If its my doing. Have I pushed them away purposely?
I keep thinking I’ve chosen the wrong set of friends. But is it because I don’t try hard enough to accept them or to exert effort to win their friendship?
I just don’t understand and I’m so confused right now.

God, please guide me, help me, show me signs. I like being alone, but I still wish and crave for the happiness that friends bring.

I love you Lord.